When Was the Last Time You Played?

Article by Christine Waisner, LAMFT

As an adult living in 2020, the idea of play can seem foreign, or even ridiculous. Very rarely do adults take a moment to allow themselves the mental freedom to let loose in the way the word ‘play’ implies. That is a shame as play is powerful. In fact, play can be transformative if given the opportunity. Play, and all that it represents, has been found to reduce cardiovascular health risks, improve immune functioning, reduce stress hormones in the body, and promote secure relationships in adults, not just children. In other words, science has found that laughter, humor, creativity, and playfulness all correlate with increased health, stress reduction, and general well-being. Given the stress that has impacted most everyone over the last year, it seems likely we could all use a little help reducing stress and well-being.

What is Play?

Before you dismiss the idea of play immediately as ridiculous, it’s important to clarify its definition. According to the Oxford Dictionary (2020), the word ‘play’ simply means “to engage in an activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.” There is no mention of play being confined to games, make-believe, or arts and crafts. Instead, play is defined as any pursuit done in the interest of enjoyment, curiosity, creativity, or desire rather than from expectation, need, or purpose. Therefore, play can mean whatever you want it to mean. For someone who prefers routine to spontaneity, play may take the form of researching something purely out of curiosity, a logic-engaging game like Chess, or building a model car. For others who naturally prefer more creative pursuits, play may take the form of pranks, throwing clay against a wall to see what happens, or dancing like nobody's watching. Both versions are okay, as is every possible iteration in between. The point of play is not to confine people to any one definition but embolden adults to allow themselves space to do things for enjoyment not necessity because when we play, we feel better.

Benefits of Play

When children play, it has been found that they gain mastery over their environments, build secure attachments to others, and explore the rules and limits of the world around them. It helps children regulate their emotions, social needs, and physiological state of being which is why encouraging children to play is so important for the social, academic, and physical development and success. While the research on the benefits of play for adults is not as robust as it is for children, there is no shortage of correlational studies to highlight the importance of play. We know that humans crave social interaction, with even one’s perception of being lonely correlating to increase risk of a variety of diseases, including cardiovascular disease. We also know stress is linked to increased rates of depression, anxiety, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and many other negative outcomes. For many, the social isolation, uncertainty, and financial/emotional stress of 2020 has taken a toll. Perhaps it’s harder to get out of bed in the morning, or your relationships feel strained, or maybe everything feels numb and distant. Many of us have been in crisis mode for months, leaving no room for joy, play, or humor. But isn’t it the perfect time to play? Studies have found that introducing humor, playfulness, shared enjoyment, and curiosity into our social, work, and personal lives leads to a reduction in perceived stress and social isolation. People feel calmer, more energetic, closer to others, and more prepared to face stress when they incorporate play into their lives. This has already been an unprecedented, unpredictable year, why not give play a try?

How to Play

As previously discussed, there is no right or wrong way to play, one need only intentionally do as they please for a designated period of time. Of course, actually introducing that time and knowing what you want to do is easier said than done. Allow yourself some grace. As individuals age, it becomes more and more taboo for them to pursue joy. After all, many face pressure to find a suitable career, raise children, manage schedules, and maintain a general sense of being “cool and collected.” Adult’s aren’t given recess or told to play. While that may be changing more (just look at all the play-focused spaces built into many Silicon Valley offices), it is perfectly understandable if this concept takes practice to master. The biggest requirement is simply that you suspend your hesitation, self-judgement, or fear and give it a try. Here are some suggestions to get you started but remember that play can be anything, so long as it’s done for your happiness or pleasure.

-       Schedule 5 minutes a week of “you” time where you allow yourself to let your mind wander and be curious. Perhaps that involves exploring the local park, asking questions of loved ones, or finally Google-ing how planes fly.

-       Head over to www.jigsawpuzzles.io  or  www.cardgames.io to challenge your friends to some socially-distanced classic card and board games (think Spit, Yahtzee, & Cribbage).

-       Invest in a new hobby or activity such as a “make-your-own-clock” kit, crocheting, pottery, baking, mechanics, or anything else that stirs up a sense of wonder and interest in you.

-       Invite those living in your household to engage in more playful activities: have a Nerf gun battle to decide who does the dishes, play cards at dinner, or agree to try that new bedroom activity.

-       Try to remind yourself that even during the most stressful of times, your interests and needs matter and any small amount of time devoted to laughter or creativity will pay off in the long-run.

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